That Word

I do not want to hear it spoken,
that familiar, yet unfamiliar word.

She's not there anymore,
but then again, she never was.

I used to believe she was real.
But now I realize I was living off hope.

I woke up one day,
and decided I was done,
I couldn't say it.

The sensation of comfort one should feel,
has been replaced with a permanent emptiness.

So please don't ask me to say it,
or use it, because I have no mother.