Monday, February 01, 2010

Deconstructing the Past

Almost a year
since that phone call,
since I left the door open
for you to walk through
or even look through,
but you never came.

So many things
are different now,
but the pain hasn't left,
it just hides in the walls
most days, but tonight
it crept out like a spider.

It's hard to look backwards,
I cannot even look at your picture
for more than a few seconds,
seeing your image forces me
to acknowledge you still exist,
reminds me you're still alone.

In those first few months
a hailstorm of memories
flashed through my mind,
all the moments I could
never understand in a rapid-fire
slide show, leaving me breathless.

I took to sorting them all,
assigning categories,
then filed them away
one by one. You were always
organized, one trait I will
not fight inheriting . . .

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